I am the type of person who wants to be great at what they want to do. I know I’m not a unicorn or special snowflake as I believe most people want to be great at what they do. But what happens when that strive for greatness backfires? We get burnt out. Burn out looks differently for everyone and the road to burn out is no different. For some, it is our people pleasing getting in our way. We just can’t say no. No matter how hard we try or how badly we want to, it is just so ingrained to keep saying yes. This is especially bad for women – we are taught from such a young age that we are here to serve and that being liked is the be all and end all. Pretty much a message that we should say yes all the time. So our plate gets too full, too heavy. For others, it is our need to overachieve, to be the best at what we do. But not only that, it is making sure other people know we are the best, our competitive nature. So we spread ourselves too thin doing great work but also spending the time to make sure those important people know just how hard we are working and how successful we are. We get so focused on success that our well-being is ignored. And then there is those of us who don’t have those same internal struggles but who are working in a toxic environment. Either the whole company culture, our managers or our teams are just a poisonous environment. We are always walking on egg shells, adrenaline pumping, constantly in a state of “flight or fight”. We just can’t handle it anymore. Three different paths, same destination. Burn Out. How do I know if I’m Burnt Out? Burn out is a state of chronic stress. It can manifest itself differently depending on the person and the situation, meaning that burn out can impact you physically or emotionally. It is a slow process, slowly building up until you just can no longer function properly anymore. This is good news, as there are signs that can help you indicate whether or not you are on your way to a full-fledge burnout breakdown. Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Burn Out 1. Lack of energy Are you feeling tired or drained? Is it getting worse? Maybe it started out as just so exhausted at the end of the day and now you are depleted the whole day through? How is your sleep – is it fitful or are you experiencing some insomnia? 2. Sickness Are you experiencing more pain than usual – is your blood pressure higher, having heart palpitations or episodes of difficulty breathing? To get TMI on you, are you having any gastro issues – like increased constipation or episodes of diarrhea? Maybe you are getting sick ALL. THE. TIME. A new occurrence as you didn’t use to get every single cold, flu or stomach bug but now you are. For all of these, please go see your Doctor!! 3. Change in Appetite This is different for everyone, depending on how they handle stress. Have you lost your appetite or has your appetite kicked into high gear? You either can’t even think about food or all you can think about is food! 4. Loss of Focus Your attention span has vanished. No matter what you do you just can’t focus anymore and work begins to pile up. 5. Anxiety and Depression This starts off mild. Maybe you feel on edge or little sad. Maybe the Sunday Blues start on Saturday and are a little bit more intense. Then it just gets worse from there. You start to experience panic when you wake up in the morning, or trapped with no way out. Sometimes depression doesn’t show up as sadness, it shows up as anger (especially in men), so if you went through a period of irritability that has grown into flat out anger at the world and quick to getting in arguments then this is a sign of burn out and depression. Again if sounds like you please seek out your Doctor! 6. Rock Bottom Self Esteem We blame ourselves. It is our own fault we are feeling this way – if only we were better at saying no, or if only we were truly successful and live up to our own crazy aspirations or if only we can mold to our toxic’s bosses unrealistic expectations. So maybe you feel worthless, like you have no value to bring to the world. What Burnout Can Look Like We are really good at lying to ourselves. Plus the above 6 signs usually come on very slowly giving us the time to adapt to this “new norm”. So it can be hard to recognize those physical and emotional symptoms of burn out. But there are other signs and there are certain things we are doing in our lives that can indicate we are on our way to burning out. 1. You have put yourself on a deserted island I’ve shared with you in the past a time when I hated my job so much that I isolated myself completely in the workplace. I avoided talking to people as much as possible. After a while, I didn’t want to see friends. I felt ashamed that I was still stuck at my job that I hated. This isolation led to detachment. Now this came real easy to me as it is a natural coping and defense mechanism of my INFJ personality type. So not only was I isolating myself but I was building walls around me. Does any of this sound familiar to you? 2. You feel like there is no point. Are you turning into a cynic? You feel like even trying to change is worthless, what’s the point after all? You just can’t count on anything anymore. So why even bother. No one cares. The world is out to get you. There is no hope. 3. You Suck at Your Job Well maybe not completely suck. But you are spread so thin that your performance isn’t measuring up. You are making mistakes, your creativity has taken a long vacation, your To Do list is just never ending and you can’t seem to get it under control. Does any of this sound like you? Then first, do you need to talk to your Doctor? If so, set up an appointment ASAP. Next? Do Something. Anything. Pick one thing you can do this week to change your situation. If you need help; find a support system, set a call me with to chat or talk to someone. Accept that it is time to change and make that your number one priority going forward.
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A couple of weeks ago we had a long weekend here in Ontario with Family Day falling on Monday. My husband, Justin, and I took it as an opportunity for a quick weekend getaway, heading up to cottage country to spend some time in winter wonderland! During our weekend we did two grueling snow shoe hikes in snow that went up to our thighs (thank goodness for those snow shoes!) going up and down “mountains” for some spectacular views. At the top of one of climbs Justin turned back to me and said ‘you should write about this, about overcoming obstacles’. And from that point on, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels of our journey in the woods to the journey to a career change. During our hikes, there were many times when it just seemed so easy and so much fun. I was on top of the world, taking in the beautiful scenery, enjoying the time with Justin and feeling like nothing was going to stop me, that I “got this”. And then that would change. Maybe it was a steep hill to climb up or down, or just fatigue setting in. But no matter what it came. The hard times. When it was harder to move forward.
That’s life though isn’t it? A series of highs and lows. So why wouldn’t be a career change be the same thing? I know that isn’t something we want to hear and sometimes the message out there is that a career change is so easy, just sell your transferable skills and of course it will happen for you! But it doesn’t work like that. It takes a lot of hard work. A LOT. Which means that you need to be persistent. It also means that you will need to be resilient because you will face more rejection than a normal job search. And it isn’t like a hike. Where you are descending a steep hill only to fall. Or even a normal job search where nothing seems to be going right. But when you are hiking or in a normal job search you can’t give up, it isn’t an option. You have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off again and keep at it. But a career change is different. Chances are you are in a job right now. You may hate your job but you are in one nonetheless, so quitting is an option. Which is why it is so common to give up. I know because I gave up. I’m coming up on 10 years from being laid off from my first job, the job that when I left I said I was going to go into career coaching. But didn’t. Because it was too hard. When I did get my first job in career coaching I left to go back to recruiting. Because that opportunity wasn’t right for me. But instead of finding one that worked, I gave up. And it took 4 more years before I finally said enough was enough. Before I realized how to make this career dream work for me. Before I committed and went all in. All in on the highs. All in on the lows. What was different this time, is that I prepared myself for the lows. So that when I failed or was facing something that seemed impossible, I had a survival guide to help me through it. In my survival guide, I focused on some key areas that I knew had tripped me up in the past or had a feeling could trip me up in the future. Today, I want to share this guide with you so that you are equipped to survive the lows of the career change journey, so that you won’t give up on your dreams. SURVIVAL TIP ONE: GAIN CLARITY One of the things that held me back in the past was that I just wasn’t positive what I wanted, career coaching had always been an interest but was it the one? At one point in my career change (about 6 years ago), I had a list of 20 career options! So it was so hard to commit to a career change when I wasn’t too sure what that career change was exactly. But once I went through some self-reflection work I finally gained that clarity allowing me to finally commit to it. SURVIVAL TIP TWO: FIND MY MOTIVATION I knew that there would be times when my motivation just wasn’t there. Where I struggled to show up. So I would refer back to my goals – why I was doing this. I would visit my Pinterest page for motivation and inspiration. I would cut myself some slack, if I needed a day to take care of me than I would take that day! SURVIVAL TIP THREE: BUILD SUPPORT I tend to be a lone wolf. I like to do things myself and then say “voila” and present it to the world, I don’t tend to invite people in while I’m trying to accomplish something. I knew that had been a problem in the past so I was determined to not be like that this time. It started small, just letting my husband in on the idea and then slowly telling family, friends and then putting it out there on a more public scale. This was SO HARD for me, but it helped me with accountability. I also built a support system around me with a Business Coach and mentors (other career coaches) so that I could learn all the ins and outs of starting this business and how to be the best career coach. When I had a question I knew I could count on them to help me out. SURVIVAL TIP FOUR: PREPARE FOR FEAR I knew that fear was inevitable. In the past fear would tell me I wasn’t good enough, or had me doubting my abilities or terrify me about the prospect of failure. And I would listen and quit. But not this time. I prepared myself to acknowledge fear but also to ignore it! SURVIVAL TIP FIVE: CARVE OUT TIME Time was definitely a factor. Now my career change wasn’t completely typical since I started my own business but I didn’t quit my job and launch into it. No, I had to juggle the starting my new business with my recruitment job. And I was still concerned about the same things in my Job Search Roadmap, marketing, networking, selling myself. So I had to be creative with my time management. There were many early mornings or late nights, and busy lunch breaks. And while I was committed, I was also forgiving of myself for those weeks or months (I didn’t write a single article in November or December of 2017!) when I just didn’t have as much time as I wanted to devote to the job search. A career change is more than possible. When you are ready to put in the work and to commit to getting through those lows then it isn’t a matter of if but a matter of when. If you are going through a change and want to add to your support system, reach out and schedule a Discover Your Career Strategy call. I look forward to helping you survive the lows of the career change journey.
You want to change careers. You just aren’t happy in your current job and you know that you need to change. You come up with a plan and you go after it, guns a blazing.
You are feeling the high, the "you got this", you are so in the zone and nothing, I mean nothing is going to get in the way. Until something does. Life gets busy, the search gets real hard, you are constantly rejected or even worse, you don't hear anything. Your momentum slows to a snails pace, maybe even halting all together. Time passes, maybe a few months, maybe a few years and then all of a sudden you have this burning urge. This urge to change careers. You just aren't happy in your current job and you know that you need to change. You come up with a plan and ... wait a second, you are hit with a sense of déjà vu. Didn't you go through this before? I know this cycle, I lived this cycle for years before finally committing to my career change. And not just to the happily ever after aspect of a career change, I committed to the good, the bad and the ugly of the process. I created a plan to not only make my dream career a reality but also a plan to overcome the obstacles that were sure to come my way. One big obstacle is motivation, when the going gets tough it is really hard to keep yourself motivated through the process. If you are there right now or are preparing yourself to be there, then here are 5 amazing TED talks to help you power through those challenging times.
1. Why you will fail to have a great career presented by Larry Smith.
This is a great TED talk when your FEAR is the only person at your career change party and throwing excuses at you hoping one will stick! Larry Smith is a professor at the University of Waterloo and this super blunt talk makes light of the excuses that we tend to tell ourselves.
2. How to Find Work You Love by Scott Dinsmore
Scott Dinsmore created the Live Your Legend after being frustrated with the career message that society told us. This talk helps you figure out what your purpose is so that you can find work you love and brings you joy. Scott passed away in 2015 while travelling with his wife but his legend and legacy still lives on through this video and his site.
3. Your elusive creative genius by Liz Gilbert
This isn't the first time that I have spoken about the power of Liz Gilbert in my life. This is a great video when the fear of failure is strong and when we rationalize giving up on our dreams because we aren't meant for it to happen to us. It is geared at creativity but is so relevant to any career change!
4. Why some of us don't have one true calling by Emilie Wapnick
There are some of us that are multi-passionate - we have so many interests and loves that drive us. It can be hard to choose a career when we feel pulled in all these directions. It is also hard to go through the challenge of a career change when we know that it may not last. If you are one, then this TED talk is for you!
5. The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain
Career change is hard. But it is harder for introverts for so many reasons. It is hard to put ourselves out there, we don't like attention, we hate networking, etc. But also because society hasn't been kind to us introverts, society tells us that being introverted is wrong, that we need to pretend we are outgoing, bold and assertive. Susan breaks all of this down. Watching this and reading her book of the same title, really gave me the courage to own my introversion as a badge not a weight.
If you are struggling right now and afraid that you may give up on your dreams then schedule a strategy call with me, let's talk you through this and get you motivated to keep going after your dreams.
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AuthorSara Curto helps people find a career they love by teaching them a new way to job search. The Secrets to finding a job you loveClick HERE to watch
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